5/27/2016 #whoivian #MarySue #isikai #fanfic #weallhavestories #roughdraft

 Alice Gardener pulled up to her house exhausted. She had finished a double and a half shift at the diner and was pooped. Dragging her exhausted body out of the ancient VW BUG she stretched, joints cracked. All She wanted was to curl up on the couch for an hour and watch TV. In all likelihood she would crash out the second she sat down. Over the last month her manager had called her in on her days off and begged her to cover extra shifts. No one wanted to work at the diner. 

The turnover was usually five hours. Alice had been working at Zia's for seven years. Longer than anyone, including the manager. Putting the key in the lock Alice was struck by an intense static shock. She pulled back, "Ow. " the weather had been bad lately and the electrical storms on the prairie were getting worse every day. In her exhaustion she missed the body wide buzz as she crossed the threshold. Reaching for the light switch, Alice turned the lights on,. She was dismayed to discover she had walked into the wrong house. "No, My key worked and the nearest neighbor is over a mile away,"  she heard a buzzing noise and felt the sudden vibration under her feet. 

She turned back to the door worried that it might be one of the earthquakes that had been growing in frequency for the last eight years. She wanted to be  outside if that was the case, besides that she was technically trespassing. the door had changed, opening it her dismay turned into stunned internal silence. As far as she could see there were stars, her rural home had vanished. Alice closed the door after a moment. her curiosity was piqued. She looked around and found that the space in front of her looked a lot like the set from Dr. Who. It was different, like right after a regeneration. A man who definitely did not look like any of the actors from the show stood in stunned silence staring at Alice. '"First, how did you get into my TARDIS and secondly, who the bloody hell are you?" 

It took Alice a moment to process. "I used the key. Alice, my name is Alice. Are you The Doctor?"

The man looked taken aback. From his slack-jawed expression, he either hadn't been called that before or was shocked that she knew who he was. 

"If you're not The Doctor, does that make you Dr. River Song in a new body?"

The man's shocked silence continued. Finally, he looked directly at Alice, "I'm The Doctor." Walking towards Alice he asked, "May I look at your key?"

Handing it over, Alice giggled, "So that's what a real Sonic Screwdriver looks like. The people who write your show got it all wrong."

"Who the hell are you?"

"I told you I'm Alice Gardner."

"Where are you from? This is an ordinary key, the sonic isn't even registering it." shouting over his shoulder, "Hey Sexy, are you messing with me again?"

"Are you talking to the TARDIS? She is a sexy beauty. I'm amazed to be here honestly. Never thought I would get a chance to see all of space and time... Well whatever part you want to run to and save." 

The Doctor looked like he had been slapped. He shouted "River, this isn't funny! Who the hell is this girl?"

"Hey I'm not a girl I'm a full grown woman and I already told you who I am."

"Fine. How did you get in my ship?. "

"I told you I used the key, but it wasn't a police box I put the key in. It was my front door. 

"Alice, you said you didn't put the key into a police box? Hum... " he ran over to the console and  started messing with the hundreds of buttons. 

"How do you know so much about me?" 

"Spoilers."

Picking up a com he spoke in a clear calm voice yet Alice could hear the barely contained fury, "Dr. Song,  your presence is required on the bridge. Immediately!"

Alice heard the faint, '"Yes Sweetie" before the com was cut. 

A hologram of a woman with bushy red hair appeared, "Yes husband? It's been a while, what did you need?"

"Do you recognize that woman?" pointing to Alice.

"No, can't say that I recall her. Why?"

Alice's heart was pounding in her ears. She was inside the doctor who universe! She wondered if she could break the fourth wall or if that would be pushing it too far. Then she wondered if she was being a Mary SUed. 

"ugg, I'm thinking too hard," alice spoke aloud. Garnering the attention of the Doctors who had been quietly discussing the sudden appearance of an unknown, who knew way too much about them. "Sorry, I'm kinda new to this universe. Who were you trying to save before I showed up?"   

"We weren't."

"What were you doing then?"

"Recovering my energy?" 

"So you just finished regenerating and it was a natural death?"

"Bunny, did you hear that?"

"Yes Sweetie,""I like this one.""Your wouldn't be up for a minor possession now and agian?"

"Just make sure this isn't a repeat of the ponds first please, nothing in the story I saw said yall didnt have babies when you spent 80 years on derillium, and honestly, Old Lazarus over there, really should be checking the genetics on his companions... unless yall are the ones who sparked the whole fairytale myths... wait are galefeans fae?"

Slack jawed the two timelords stared at the young woman in an old fashioned waitresses dress and apron. The DNA scanner was spinning at a billion parts per millisecond. 

"Shit, do either of you have any coffee, or a pillow, I am dead on my feet, especially if you are in recovery..." "Hey Sexy, thank you for picking me up for a nap. You are a brilliant and beautiful creature." A bed materialized. "Thanks Sexy. You are a doll."

"Did the tardis just give her a bed? In the control room?"

" I've heard you sweet talk the computer Mr. The Doctor... River probably still knows more about it than you, she stole it alot."

"Where exactly are you from Alice?"

"I don't know what it's called right now. The name changes alot. Earth... but I don't know when we are so I don't know what it is called. Don't tell me. I don't want to know. OH FUZZY SLIPPERS AND EVERYTHING.